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| I am excited to say that I now have a full time job. I have been working full time this summer for Ninth Street Baptist in Erwin but I have also been working on a school teaching job for the fall. And I found out today that I received my first school teaching job. I will be working for the Greene County School System as a gifted teacher. I never saw myself teaching gifted students but I am excited about the opportunity. As many of you know I spent all of last year trying to get my foot in the door and nothing worked out and I substitute taught for the entire year. But now the Lord has opened this door of opportunity and I stepping throuh it. I am very excited and thrilled about this opportunity! Thanks to all of you who have supported me during my job search. I especially want to thank all those who have given me a sypathetic ear when I needed it. You know who you are. Well I need to get outta here for now.
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| Yes is it is the second post. This is what I believe a letter home might sound like if a redneck from Telford joined the Marines. Enjoy
The SHANKSINATOR
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine
Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up
quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at
first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and
shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to
split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not
so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon,
and stuff, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried
eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can
always sit by two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours
holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city
boys can't walk much.
We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long
walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him
different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The
country is nice, but awful flat.
The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like
the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They
don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals
for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a
chipmunk head and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the
Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable
and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in
little metal boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to
wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they
break easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm
about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in
Silver Lake. He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Gail
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| Yes this is the first post and it could be the last so you better read it. I have dedicated this site to the humor that I find in everyday life. I am from Telford, TN land of a thousand rednecks. The same Telford frequently mentioned by my good friend The Mattchews. Now as you know this was the first week of spring and in Telford we just can't get the weather right. It snowed here on the first day of spring. The week before we had beautiful East Tennessee weather I even saw people in shorts. But the first day of spring I am headed out to work bundled up with my wool coat on and its snowing outside. Isn't this just lovely. Also I find it hilarious how national network radio news covers bad weather. I actually heard a national radio newscaster use the headline: THE GROUND HOG WAS RIGHT... He actually said this people. Then he went on the to say... but he should have predicted 8 more weeks of bad weather in stead of six. Like the freakin the groundhog actually knew something about it. Of course here in Telford we do not depend on furry woodland creatures to predict our weather. No we have a much more scientific way to predict it. There is an old redneck that lives up in the hills in a shack and he only comes out once a year and if he sees his shadow then we know that we are going to have six more weeks of winter. Just kidding. (In case some of you are naive enough to believe that).
Tonight is Friday night and as is my custom I go out with the boys. Usually the boys go out on Friday night and hit one of the many favorite spots to eat in Town (Johnson City) because The Sisters restaurant the only restaurant in Telford (formally know as Dirty Dotties) (its long story folks that's a whole other post and this one is getting to long) closes down early. So the boys went out to eat tonight at Applebees one of the restaurants in the regular rotation of eating places of my friends. We met this waitress who was from Alaska who was going to school at ETSU (Her story of how she got to East Tennessee was pretty interesting too but that will have to be put in another post as well) and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves at dinner. Then because there were four of us this particular night we decided to head back home for a couple of games of Rook (the favorite pastime of Telfordites.) Now it was on the way home that we had the best time. As my friend The Matthchews will tell you it does not take much to entertain us. It was snowing when we left and so me and my friend Little Arch (I am changing names to protect the innocent) were sitting in the back seat of my friend Guod's vehicle when we decided to start throwing snow balls out the window of our car at other cars while we are traveling down the highway. This was too much fun. We were taking snow off of the top of Guod's vehicle and making small snow balls out of them and trying to hit the windows of other cars while traveling down the highway doing between 45 and 50 mph. Folks you have got to try this out the next time it snows. Goud was freakin out because he is very particular about his new car and we were getting snow in it... And he just knew somebody was going to get ticked tell him off about it. As far as we know most people did know the snow hit their car but me and my friends Big Arch, Little Arch, and Goud even though he was fussing about it got a barrel of laughs out of doing this. Well this was a somewhat long post so I'll end it here... I hope you enjoyed it.
The SHANKSINATOR
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